DC: Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-
Marvel: YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS
DC: We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.
Marvel: HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE
DC: The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.
Marvel: DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER
DC: After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.
Marvel: PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW
DC: We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...
Marvel: NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.
DC: We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.
Marvel: NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM
DC: We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.
Marvel: FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO
DC: Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-
Marvel: NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK
DC: Wait-
Marvel: NEW FEMALE THOR
DC: I didn't-
Marvel: NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA
Marvel: TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE
Marvel: PEACE

miz-joely:

One a day.

Like vitamins.

Sherlolly-shaped vitamins.

Following doctor’s orders. For my health.


Tonight is my first night of culinary school. I graduated with my theater degree 12 years ago.
I’ve somehow managed to never have a panic attack at work, but it was a very near thing about half an hour ago, when I realized that there will be students in my classes who were in KINDERGARTEN the last time I went to school. Oh God. I’m so old.


Aaaarrrrrggghhhh I could probably post Chapter 14 within the hour if I wanted to, but Chapter 2? It’s like 1/4 written. My draft literally says “****FIRST DAY OF CLASSES*****”
Thank you past me, that’s very helpful.
asdfjkashdfjhasdjfhjksadhf


defenestratrix:

pictures-to-prove-it:

And perhaps a “Shakespeare in Park”-type production, in which Terry Crews wears an Elizabethan collar and recites all of Defenestratrix’s methaphors for pasty white dicks, in perfect iambic pentameter.

Terry Crews takes a liberal view of what iambic pentameter means, so where he lacks in technical fidelity, he makes up for it in sheer volume.
"Disenfranchised alabaster hang-downs," he booms out at the audience filling the darkened theater. The sheen of jojoba oil on Terry’s jittering biceps reflect the dim glow of a thousand iPhone screens.
“Two wrinkled snowmen blowing nut sack raspberries on each other,” he yells from the stationary bike on which he’s perched, legs pumping at a dizzying blur. Everyone in the first few rows startle and grip their programs more tightly.
“A SKINFLUTE DUET OF CARELESS WHISPER," he roars, full-throated and leonine, a bulging vein visible on the smooth chocolate dome of his forehead. Dust shakes down from the rafters. A dog howls plaintively in the distance. The remaining strap on his spandex tank top gives away and he’s left shirtless and twitching on the stage before the spotlight abruptly fades away.
The standing ovation he receives lasts for nine days. Two audience members perish from exhaustion.

defenestratrix:

pictures-to-prove-it:

And perhaps a “Shakespeare in Park”-type production, in which Terry Crews wears an Elizabethan collar and recites all of Defenestratrix’s methaphors for pasty white dicks, in perfect iambic pentameter.

Terry Crews takes a liberal view of what iambic pentameter means, so where he lacks in technical fidelity, he makes up for it in sheer volume.

"Disenfranchised alabaster hang-downs," he booms out at the audience filling the darkened theater. The sheen of jojoba oil on Terry’s jittering biceps reflect the dim glow of a thousand iPhone screens.

Two wrinkled snowmen blowing nut sack raspberries on each other,” he yells from the stationary bike on which he’s perched, legs pumping at a dizzying blur. Everyone in the first few rows startle and grip their programs more tightly.

A SKINFLUTE DUET OF CARELESS WHISPER," he roars, full-throated and leonine, a bulging vein visible on the smooth chocolate dome of his forehead. Dust shakes down from the rafters. A dog howls plaintively in the distance. The remaining strap on his spandex tank top gives away and he’s left shirtless and twitching on the stage before the spotlight abruptly fades away.

The standing ovation he receives lasts for nine days. Two audience members perish from exhaustion.

(via holnnes)


holnnes:

sherlockofthetardis:

holnnes:

Sherlock Holmes Is A Ravenclaw: an essay by tumblr user holnnes

Molly Hooper is a Hufflepuff: A dissertation by sherlockofthetardis

John Watson Is A Gryffindor (Don’t Look At Me Like That): a follow-up thesis by holnnes 

Hermione “Granger“‘s parents are Sherlock Holmes and Molly Hooper, a headcanon by lavender-lily.


jackandhoney:

allthebellsinvenice:

"The spare bedroom. Well, my bedroom. We agreed he needs the space."

allthebellsinvenice

. Obviously it means that the twin sized extra bed wasn’t enough room for him so he had to sleep in Molly’s kingsized bed with her.

Is…is that a tomato?

jackandhoney:

allthebellsinvenice:

"The spare bedroom. Well, my bedroom. We agreed he needs the space."

allthebellsinvenice . Obviously it means that the twin sized extra bed wasn’t enough room for him so he had to sleep in Molly’s kingsized bed with her.

Is…is that a tomato?

(via thewallpaperconspiracy)


Dear fanfic authors,
How do you not go completely insane hitting the refresh button after you’ve put your baby out there for the world to see?



miz-joely:

cumberbabeusa:

thequietmortician:

30 Day Sherlock challenge: Day 16: a moment that made you squeal.
 I don’t need to say any more!!!

Just doing my due diligence as a Sherlolly shipper and reblogging “the kiss” whenever it crosses my dash.

One a day like vitamins. And look! I held off until 9:01 EST!

I’ve been a bad shipper, I haven’t been taking my vitamins. I pledge to do better from now on.

miz-joely:

cumberbabeusa:

thequietmortician:

30 Day Sherlock challenge: Day 16: a moment that made you squeal.


I don’t need to say any more!!!

Just doing my due diligence as a Sherlolly shipper and reblogging “the kiss” whenever it crosses my dash.

One a day like vitamins. And look! I held off until 9:01 EST!

I’ve been a bad shipper, I haven’t been taking my vitamins. I pledge to do better from now on.